stress and content

so today was long as hell and my stomach lately isnt helping things. such a good day though, so productive. I actually got to do a lot of cool things at the office today which made me happy. seems like things are going to be picking up, i guess it was just a slow week last week, but it just scared me this week since i was doing nothing for a bit. I actually have a lot of cool things to do for the next chunk of my time here. I fucking love the lady that I work underneath. Her name is Bernice and she is amazing. She is pretty much what I aim to be when I am older. She is soo socially aware about everything, plus she has an extreme interest in all of the same things that I do. Its really cool because she has become somewhat of a mentor to me. She has been giving me all of these excellent documents and such on Mozambique. I am goign to be reading a book she just gave me to read which seems fabulous--she read it in one sitting. She actually might be moving there or Zimbabwe soon. her partner, he is from Zimbabwe so he wants to move back at some point soon. Bernice said they will definitely be doing it. I dunno, she is just such a strong feminist with such great progressive view points, i just can look to her for greatness and such. She is definitely a contact that I will keep from now on out. She would be an excellent source for my future African ventures...

ok, so on another note. life is continually fabulous. like im going to really say anything else...lets be honest. I ate lunch today at this really fresh/organic café near my work called delessio. omg, the food there is simply amazing. I had this fabulous salad and portobello panini, yeah i nearly rolled over it was soo good. that topped with a pellegrino limonata. yeah, i adore pellegrino in every form.

then my review session went pretty good. im taking my test on friday because tomorrow i finally get to go on my externship. im sooo excited. an northwestern alum is a district attorney in sf and she has invited me out to go see this agro-business case thats news worthy. then i get to see how things work and meet other attorneys and go out to lunch with them. the bad side... i have to be there at 830am...but i should not complain, its going to be SOO fucking cool. Even though I think i am fairly set on not going to law school, I think it will be a great learning experience. Afterall, thats what this summer is all about anyway. I have indeed learned so much, and the most important thing, I can indeed survive in this place and live here completely content for the rest of my life. I am not sure if its in the cards to come here after i graduate, im afraid graduate schools will not align with berkeley. too bad. although berkeley is amazing in every shape and form... I think graduate schools are calling me on the east coast. Well Columbia is calling me, as is Warwick. I htink its insane how much graduate school I am considering, but it all seems soo damn cool. And I think it would be amazign to teach people after I am older and will want to be able to continually make an impact in people's lives. Having a PhD doesn't sound bad at all. In fact, it sounds amazing. Now I just need to make myself amazing for the next two-three years in order to be able to get into the program. Challenges ahead, but i can and will face them. This summer has me thinking sooo much about my future. I really like this thinking. Its a positive step and feeling that I will not sell out. I am an aspiring person that will keep going. If anything, this summer has rejuvenated me in the sense that things are possible. I have a great life, a great out look, a great attitude and resilience. I cannot fail and will be successful in the sense that i am making a positive contribution to this world, to the people around me, and to myself and family. I am already successful in the fact that I am living my life in the way thats best for me and makes me happy. Life is good and gracious and thats what I need always remember. IF anything, I must always come back to moments like this summer that has allowed me to have this positive thinking. I know I get into ruts sometimes, but it is necessary in order to drag myself out, see the light and be able to move on. Afterall, you learn more from the bad than the good. I have learned a shit load these past two years.

Alrighty, thats done. A lot of stuff and planning to do for next year and HALO. its going to be soo good. a little nervous about it since i suck at leading, but i can and will do it. woo, positivity is a flowin. love.

on another note again: my school friends, i miss you all so much. SF and everything is amazing, but I do miss the wonderful people in my life back up at Northwestern. I do miss my mom and sister a lot too. But, one more month and a week. The beauty is that all of these things ARE present in my life, so i can miss them, bu I know they are there and will continually be there to support me. Damn i am lucky. I love California more than words can describe.